My actual fears of life

Last Saturday, early in the morning as usual for hockey days, while we walked in the rink, my little host brothers asked me, what my biggest fears are. “Are you scared of snakes?” asked little 6-year old Treyton “or sharks?” added his older brother Kenyan. They made me think about what I’m actually scared of but I told them that I’m not scared of animals even if I already saw an Egyptian cobra almost biting my mum’s cousin on a safari in Uganda, Africa.

Anyway, this apparently not really important question to the boys was stuck in my had the whole morning, while I was watching their not too interesting hockey practice. I couldn’t think of any animals or humans I’m scared of. I guess it’s not really the point to be scared of a dangerous animal or the strongest WWE fighter. It’s different! Way different.

I was thinking about if I’m scared of not reaching every goal in my life like the average of my graduation and not finding a good job after university. No, it’s not that either. My biggest fear is that people will forget about me after I leave their life’s. To be forgotten is the worst thing in life or after you live. During my exchange in Canada right now I experience how to leave impressions or how not to. What’s the point of going away to stay five months in another country and be forgotten after you leave again? I want the people to remember me. To remember how I talk, how I laugh how I am thinking about life. Your intention of meeting new people should always be how to get them to remember you. Imagine ten years after you die the people can barely even remember your name because you didn’t leave any impressions, that’s what I would call not reaching my goals in life, who cares about your average of graduation. Going out there, exploring the world, changing some people’s life and leaving your own footprints, that’s what living is about.

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